The belief that in-laws are never like your parents have ruined a lot of post-marriage relationships. Sometimes, women assume this and there are times when they go through a hindrance to cope up with the relationship and end up ruining not just the equation with her in-laws, but also with her husband. This is the time when the requirement of marriage counseling steps in and professional help is needed to set things back to normalcy, though there are alarming rates of divorce due to this too.
“My parents are better than yours”, this has probably hampered the peace and tranquility of a lot of relationships, and the degree of comparison has taken things by a storm. Before going for expert help through court ordered classes, take some time out and follow the simple steps to ward off the issues:
- Get mature
Instead of comparing your and his mother, it is time to let your mind grow up and, get matured.
- Accept them
Now that you are married and entered a new life, you need to accept his parents like yours and thank them for the wonderful life partner you have got.
- Appreciate and praise
With time, praise them when there is some family reunions and meet-ups happening. This way they will understand your effort too.
- Realize they have faults
You need to accept the fact that humans come with faults and you should not disown them for their little flaws, rather try to correct them but with softness and patience.
- Never expect out of the way
Learn to share the problems and try to adjust. You will have to stop expecting every time, and try embracing them without any desires.
- Treat them with respect
To avoid any rift, respect them as they are your elders and through this, they will respect you back too.
- Put little efforts to make them happy
You need to do little happy things for them, be it cooking their favourite dishes or buying them gifts so that they smile genuinely.
- Do not drag your husband
Do not place your husband in a precarious situation by dragging him into any conflict with the in laws. Rather hold mature and amicable discussions to show your maturity and reach to a friendly agreement.
- Do not always demand
It is better to give instead of demanding always. Fulfill their rights and choices and solve the bitter problems easily. This is a major part of effective family anger management.
When these things doesn’t work, you need to seek professional and expert help from a family counseling course, and this would also include couples counseling sessions as things might get boiled up between the couple too.